buyer's remorse anony | the handmade home
We?ve all experienced it. If this were a buyer?s remorse anony meeting, I would totally be the prez. And it would be because you all love me, right?
{Flutters eye lashes} No? Okay.
?
Ten plus years ago when we were first married, it felt like a bit of a race to furnish our home. I have no idea where the pressure came from, other than ourselves. We naively put a little on credit trying to fill up our empty, brand new house with big box store purchases. We were young and foolish and hiding behind excuses like ?we need this? and ?we?ll use this to entertain? followed by ?we?ll pay it off right away?.
When we actually had cold hard cash a little further down the road, in an effort to be frugal and make up for past mistakes we went for the discounted pieces because they were cheaper? even if we weren?t crazy about them. We weren?t even sure what we liked.
In the long run, we ended up spending more money trying to replace pieces we just didn?t love.
What we didn?t realize at the time was that we were making the same mistakes again, in a different way.
We didn?t really think through our purchases. We went for the instant gratification pieces that could fill up an empty space quickly. There was this pretend, underlying expectation we put on ourselves. Now that we were married, we were to pursue the ?American Dream?, right? {Cue inspirational Chariots of Fire music. Now cue a massive record screech.}
What is the ?American Dream?, anyway? Isn?t it a little different for everyone? Mine was to have the living dollhouse where I could hostess and entertain to my heart?s content.
Then we had three children. I guess you could say a new (reality infused) dream was born to get through the next three years without losing my head.

Looking back, I wish I could grab my 22 year old self with stars in her eyes (yes, we were babies) and shake her firmly by the shoulders until the stars fell out and she could see again. Apart from telling her that she doesn?t have to be all things to everyone, stop her from taking that waste of a ?design? job? (even if she would inevitably learn from her mistakes) And inform her that the boxy blouse does sbsolutely nothing for her torso, I would tell her that of all things: Take your sweet time in furnishing your home.
This isn?t trading spaces and your home isn?t a microwave. It?s a crock pot. Just like your budget. A very slow, avocado green one left over from 1965.
I would tell her, ?You kind of have the rest of your life to ?get there?.?

Beautiful homes are created over time. It takes time to decide what your taste will be?to cultivate that taste. Once it?s cultivated, it?s still organic and changing.
What if we were different, ten years ago, and simply sat on the floor for a while? Had an empty space where a dining room table should go? What would be so wrong with waiting? Would the proverbial walls of my own ridiculous expectations come crashing down? Would they now?
Ten years later, I?m beginning to grasp this concept. I wish I had been secure enough in my choices to wait for what I really wanted, while I discovered who I was.

I think we?ve all been there. Anxious to move on from those pieces that were handed down to us in the early years, we make a few buyer?s remorse kind of mistakes?and we pay for them in the long run.?If we want to be intentional with how we create our spaces and not just ?buy? them? if we wish for them to express who we are, I think it?s important to be careful about what we bring into our homes.
I?m still purging our home of those past items. Are you?
So what constitutes a smart purchase? How to we avoid the dreaded impulse buy? And how do we manage all of this on such a tight budget?

No truer words on the subject have ever been spoken.
I want to discuss a little about this next week, but in the meantime, I?d really like to hear some of your answers. What?s your take on this process of owning your first home or renting your first place all on your own? Did you feel pressure to own nice things? Were they wise purchases? What have you learned from that?
Even better yet, what?s your number one buyer?s remorse? Who could be my vice prezzy?

Source: http://www.thehandmadehome.net/2012/11/buyers-remorse-anony/
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